The last time I ate at McDonald’s was January 2nd, 2008 somewhere between Ft. Collins and Denver.   My crew stopped at the McD’s en route to the airport.  I eat at Dunkin’ Donuts on occasion, so I figured that McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches couldn’t be all that different, and it was the first time in ages I was at a McDonald’s while breakfast was still being served.  So I got an Egg McMuffin with cheese.  Within twenty minutes, I realized what a mistake that was.  I don’t intend on ever eating at a McDonald’s again.

Generally speaking, I don’t like eating at big chain restaurants, but there are a few that I eat at, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

• Chipotle.  All sorts of good and okay stuff about Chipotle.  First off, people constantly mispronounce the name, which I think is awesome.  Second, one burrito is all you need for an entire day, and the veggie option seems less like an after thought than it does at most similar places.  Third- all the cups are covered with left-wing hippie propaganda.
• Dunkin’ Donuts.  Breakfast all the time!  Bagels!  Consistency!  I’ll eat at a DD without too much worrying, and the fact that so many are paired with a Baskin Robbins is another plus.  However, despite what the ads say, DD coffee isn’t nearly as good as *bz, which is still not actually very good coffee!  (When I was in Peru, DD was the only place where I could get a giant, American style drip coffee.  I felt kind of like a tool for going there, but I’m just not an espresso kind of a guy.)
• Starbucks, aka *bz.  Wide selection of pretty okay baked goods (though their scones totally suck!), plus it’s a guaranteed okay cup of coffee wherever you might find yourself.  Also, in the summertime you can’t beat a grande unsweetened iced soy green tea latte!
• Wendy’s.  Though the food is as bad as any other fast food place and there’s no legit vegetarian entree, they do have baked potatoes.  Plus Dave Thomas was so likable in his ads, the whole chain gets a lifetime pass from me.  That said, I think I’ve probably only eaten at a Wendy’s once in the past ten years.
• Quizno’s.  Passable guacamole on their veggie sandwiches, bread that doesn’t taste like paste, and that cute little cooker thing, not a microwave like some sandwicherías.

There’s one more chain-type place I eat at on a regular basis, though I am fully embarrassed to admit it.  I get the egg salad sandwiches from 7-11 at least once a month, sometimes once a week when I’m feeling particularly low-standardy.  (7-11 is barely a block from my house!)   The bread is gross, the eggs are questionable, and food should probably not come in a cellophane wrapper.  Yuck.  But it’s the only thing I can get at 7-11, and I have to support it if only to ensure 7-11s continue stocking them for when I’m reeeeaaaallly hungry and it’s the only option.

Am I forgetting anything?  I don’t think so.  I like the lettuce taco things at PF Chang’s, and it’s probably the best of the suburbotron maximostraunts., but I can’t say I’d ever suggest eating there.  Also, any place where there are no rules and just right is totally sweet and awesome.

In case it’s not obvious, I am really hungry right now.  There might could be a 7-11 ESS on my horizon.