Seat Roland Burris. Maybe.

Saturday , 3, January 2009 3 Comments

Over the course of the holidays, I totally stopped paying attention to the whole Blagojevich thing.   Seriously, I had chocolate to unwrap and eat, how could I find time to read the news?  Apparently my lack of interest hasn’t stopped the story from moving forward, and Blago has appointed former Attorney General Roland Burris to the position.  The Senate Dems have said they won’t seat him, there’s considerable argument over whether the Senate has that power, but Blago’s sent a man to Washington nonetheless.

Being a resident of Illinois, I actually kinda want to have a Senator.  We can’t depend on Durbin alone to get federal funding for all of our stuff.  We need someone.  Since the trial and impeachment or whatever is going to go on forever, it’s going to be a long time until we can get what we need if we have to wait.  In the meantime, who knows what awesome federal funds we might be missing out on.  Actally, probably not much, since Mr. O is gonna be at 1600, but still.  My solution, which is impossible but still would be great, would be to compromise with Burris.  Let him have the seat, but with the understanding that he’s not to run for reelection in 2010, and, ideally, that he would resign should Blago be found guilty.  Of course, he wouldn’t want to do that, but that’s what he gets for letting a corrupt jackass appoint him.  If he wants to be senator badly enough to agree to those terms, then you realize that he’s so desperate for the job that he clearly shouldn’t have it, so you turn around and renege on the deal.

Wait, that doesn’t solve anything.  We still don’t have a senator.  So..  back to square one.  We need a Senator, anyone who Blago appoints isn’t any good, Blago’s the only guy who can do it.  So I guess we need to hurry up and get him out of office, or stick to my earlier plan, except without the turning around and changing the game.  We really just ought to have a quick election, in March when we do the Alderman elections.  Randomly pick an R and a D who currently hold statewide office, stick them on a ballot, call it a day.  Who cares.  We just need to get one of our homies up there to keep our highways built.

(Side note: Burris named *both* of his kids after himself, a la George Foreman.  He also already has his grave picked out, complete with a mausoleum and a list of al his accomplishments.  There’s still room for one more office on it.)

(Side side note:  How creepy is it to pick out your own grave and headstone and stuff?  I wonder he he hangs out there and listens to the Smiths.)

3 thoughts on “ : Seat Roland Burris. Maybe.”
  • John says:

    …How creepy is it to pick out your own grave and headstone and stuff? I wonder he he hangs out there and listens to the Smiths…

    From what I understand, it’s not just a headstone. He has a mausoleum with all of his accomplishments chiseled into the marble. In fact, it has the seal of the State of Illinois and the words TRAIL BLAZER under it. Among his accomplishments are “African-American National Bank Examiner for the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency” and “Most Humble Man in the History of the Universe”

    And if he’s not sitting there at night listening to the Smiths and/or the Cure, I’m sure you and Colin are.

  • brs says:

    John!

    You were up really late. I wonder if that’s job related. Anyhow, you’ll note that I DID initially refer to it as a masoleum… Or should I say MOZoleum. But I appreciate the link.

    And re: Burrdoggler- his kids aren’t both Roland. There’s Roland II and Rolando. So he’s like a wacky George Foreman.

  • colin says:

    my grandfather had his plot purchased years before his death…for him and his wife. creepy.