Taylor Clark, writing for Slate, has an article (“Vegetarian myths, debunked“) today that should be mandatory reading for all non-vegetarians.    Pretty much everything he says is exactly right.  Some of his points that hit closest to home for me:

Some people call themselves vegetarians and still eat chicken or fish, but unless we’re talking about the kind of salmon that comes freshly plucked from the vine, this makes you an omnivore.

Take that, “New England Vegetarians”!

Suffice it to say that one day, I suddenly realized that I could never look a cow in the eyes, press a knocking gun to her temple, and pull the trigger without feeling I’d done something cruel and unnecessary. (Sure, if it’s kill the cow or starve, then say your prayers, my bovine friend—but for now, it’s not quite a mortal struggle to subsist on the other five food groups.)

This is almost the exact same thing I went through, and also how I feel about the prospect of starving to death in the same room as a cow and a Weber.

For those kind-hearted omnivores who willingly invite feral vegetarians into their homes for dinner parties and barbecues (really! we do that, too!) …  we don’t expect you to bend over backward for us. In fact, if we get the sense that you cooked for three extra hours to accommodate our dietary preferences, we will marvel at your considerate nature, but we will also feel insanely guilty.

The guilt!  I’d much much much rather be kinda hungry for a little while than feel like I’ve been an annoying burden on whoever was gracious enough to invite me over.

Mr. Clark continues to address important topics, like the difficulty in avoiding all animal-death-required products (“Hey, you try to find a pair of nonleather dress shoes.“), the thrill of finding a vegetarian option that isn’t a microwaved Gardenburger, the difficulty of finding appetizingly prepared tofu, and what vegans are like (“intense“).

The only thing I could possibly add to his essay is this: When a non-vegetarian goes out to eat with a vegetarian, there’s no need to point out to us which menu options suit our needs.  Many of us have been doing this a long time and can determine on our own whether the house salad or the porterhouse is the more appropriate dish.

I’ve quoted from his article more liberally than I like to, but I really encourage everyone to click on the link and see what he has to say.  I pretty much agree 100% with everything he says, up to and including his making fun of Hillary Clinton.